My Mother's Day from HELL!! Three no-nos when receiving not so great gifts.

My first Mother's Day I received a cookbook....yep, a cookbook and booooooooy was I pissed! I was mad, upset, disappointed, offended, sad, under appreciated and any other words you can think of to mean veeeeery unhappy. A cookbook really!? I was not happy and I showed it. I cried, complained and cried some more. Then I talked to my Mom about it and my sisters about it oh yeah and my bestie too. 

I could not believe it after aaaall of the work I had done so far to raise our first child I got a measly cookbook for my first Mother's Day.  I mean hello I had a c-section!! To me that alone deserved a nice piece of jewelry.

This is how I viewed the gift...A cookbook is used for cooking. I cook for YOU so this cookbook is really a gift for YOU. Besides who gives a freakin cookbook for a Mother's Day gift???? REALLY!?  This was hubby's thinking behind getting me the gift...We hadn't been married a year yet and my latest hobby was trying new recipes particularly Paula Deen recipes. I LOOOVE to cook and I loved Paula Deen at that time so any holiday or special occasion I would look up recipes online and they HAD to be Paula's.  Every time I made one of her recipes it was a hit!  My husband, paying close attention, took note and thought that the best gift to get me was Paul Deen's NEW cookbook (which by the way I did mention I wanted. Guess I should have said NOT for Mother's Day LOL).  

My husband was trying to make me happy by getting me something he knew I enjoyed to do and instead of me being grateful for it, I complained. If I could do it all over again, I would have...  

Thanked him for taking out the time to pay enough attention to me to get something that I wanted.  Yes, Mother's Day is a special holiday but the reality of it is every mother isn't blessed with gifts, or even recognition as a mother.  So the fact that he thought enough of me should have been good enough for me. Whether I like it or not I now look deeper and always show gratitude.  Especially with the kids. I think to myself "wow, he had to go to the store (most likely with the kids in tow), look around, pick a gift, card and tissue paper (which usually matched the gift bag), stand in a line and buy this for me. Even if it's something he buys online he plans ahead to make sure it gets here on time.  Being that it was my first Mother's Day I can imagine how stressed he was shopping for me the following year after my horrible reaction to the first year's gift.  Poor hubby.

I wouldn't have complained to so many people.  I've learned throughout our ten years of marriage that expressing your issues (big or small) to close family or friends isn't always the best idea.  Now, I was very hurt and disappointed but sharing that with my mother should have been as far as my complaints went.  But nooooo I had to tell the sisters and the bestie.  I didn't dog him out by any means but I did reveal my disappointment in him which painted him in a not so great light when in fact in retrospect he did wonderful!  I literally still cook from that cookbook.

I would have faked my disappointment.  Like I mentioned there were tears, tears and more tears.  That had to hurt him.  I mean it was his first Mother's Day too so where to start was probably his biggest challenge.  There isn't really a handbook on what is "safe" to buy when shopping for your wife's first Mother's Day gift so he tried his best.  When shopping for Father's Day my goal is make him happy with what I get him and I'm sure that was his goal when shopping for me.  So faking my disappointment and at least crying in private would have been the best move.  Thinking about how awful I probably made him feel makes me want to buy something for HIM this Mother's Day LOL.

The moral of the story is stay focused on what Mother's Day is all about.  If someone takes out the time to get you something (this of course excludes the crap gifts that you can tell there was no love thought or effort behind) then make sure you focus more on the time and effort they spent than the gift itself.  

You won't always get the best gifts but know that they are just trying to honor you best they can and appreciate them for it.  

Here is a hint for those having trouble shopping: Just ask.  Most people are happy to tell you exactly what they have been wanting or would like.  Following these steps releases the pressure and allows your loved ones to just honor you!

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