Scarred on the Inside

During my commute this morning I was standing next to a man that was burned on one side of his face. Wow, I thought, this man has been through some pain. His face was literally melted which means not only was he burned but he had to endure some real pain through the healing. 

Well what about those that have scars on the inside.  The scars hidden behind our smile or beneath a cute figure or nice clothes?

Just because you can't see that someone has gone through something doesn't mean that they haven't or still aren't.

 I remember going through a really tough time in my life that lasted quite some time.  I would literally cry on the way to work, in the bathroom at work and on the way home. I was hiding my pain behind happy "Good Mornings" and bright-eyed smiles.  All the while I was sad inside.  While that pain is now gone the scars from those experiences are still there.  They have finally scabbed over and healed and I'm left with scars. Take a look at the definition of scarred...

scar

skär/

noun

plural noun: scars

1. 1.

   a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed completely and fibrous connective tissue has developed.

   "a faint scar ran the length of his left cheek"

   synonyms:

   cicatrix, mark, blemish, disfigurement, discoloration, defacement; More

   • a lasting effect of grief, fear, or other emotion left on a person's character by a traumatic experience.

     "the attack has left mental scars on Terry and his family"

     synonyms:

     trauma, damage, injury "deep psychological scars"

   • a mark left on something following damage of some kind.

     "Max could see scars of the blast"
   • a mark left at the point of separation of a leaf, frond, or other part from a plant.
   • 
     

Bullet point two and three above is what we are able to hide.  These are emotional scars. It is what we don't see on others unless they tell us about them.      

Seeing that man's scars made me sensitive and empathetic toward what he had to endure but it also brought awareness to how easy it is for us to be kinder or nicer to someone with scars or a visible handicap but not so much for those who have scars we don't see.  It is sort of an out of sight out of mind situation.  We think if we don't see the scars then there must not be any but that is the farthest from the truth.  

Sometime the ones with the deepest scars are the best at hiding them.

But how do we treat everyone else?  Pain associated with burn trauma continues long after the initial injury and hospitalization however, the case is the same for emotional pain.  Fact of the matter is everyone has been hurt. Everyone has experienced some type of pain but not everyone has the physical scars. Moral of the story is be sensitive to others. Just like you have internal scars so does everyone else.  Watch what you say and how you say it.  Share a kind thought or smile.  Act as though you know that everyone has experienced pain (because we all have) and behave accordingly. 

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