The F-word (forgiveness) and the etiquette of encouraging it

Forgiveness...Such an easy thing to encourage someone else to do but are you taking your own advice?  Even more, when you call yourself "encouraging" someone to "get over it" or telling them "that was forever ago, you need to forgive" are you being sensitive to THEIR situation? Because that's whose it is...theirs.
 Therefore you can't tell someone when it is time to forgive.  It's challenging for me to take advice of forgiveness from someone who i know for a fact don't just get over it when it comes to their own stuff.  As a christian it is regular practice to say "God forgave you so you need to forgive as well". And to that I say "Yep, He sure did however I am not God. Trying to be like Him more and more everyday, yes, but I'm not Him and the fact of the matter is neither are you. So while we are both on that same journey how about you just be here for me through it without your extra advice on the timeline in which I need to do it?" LOL yes, that is me. Those are things I want to say but don't.

The thing is it is really easy to tell someone to forgive but let's say someone harmed your child or loved one and I said "Hey I know your child was hurt but cha gotta forgive, like now"  How would that make you feel?  Now if I came to you and said "Hey it seems like you were really hurt in that situation.  I'm sorry you went through that and I'm praying that one day you get to a place where you are free of that feeling."  Doesn't that sound more pleasant?  Wouldn't you rather someone approach you in that manner?  We have gotten to a place where unless it's our personal situation we are very insensitive to one another's feelings.  You don;t know how someone was affected.  You may know small facts but that doesn't qualify you to tell someone "you need to just go on and forgive."  If you weren't there to actually witness or experience it then back off and be more sensitive.  I lose a little respect for someone who comes to me like that.

The truth of the matter is forgiveness takes time.  Everyone forgives at their own pace.  I recently had to do some forgiving myself.  I'm not a huge grudge holder but I do get hurt and depending on how deep the cut is or my relationship with the person that hurt or offended me my forgiveness may take longer.  This particular situation was a deep cut.  I harbored resentment and a lot of pain so that was heavy.  The moment I realized that it would only get better if I forgave and then actually did it that heaviness lifted.  I knew I needed to forgive but I needed it to happen in it's own timing.  On the other hand I am still working to forgive a more recent situation.  This is something that was happening over a span of years.  So it is also taking me a tad longer to forgive.

You (we) have to understand that while we know once that person forgives they are freeing themselves and that forgiving is more for us than for the one we are forgiving we also have to understand that it will come and trying to "speed it along" is just making it worse.  It makes the person feel like their feelings are invalid and that it's not a big deal.  That hurts. Just like everything else is a journey, so is forgiving and if you are involved in someone's journey in anyway make sure you are there to properly encourage.  Leave your forgiveness timeline to yourself and just be there.